Holy & Her™ Series | Episode 1 : Motherhood & Marriage Take Discipleship

The Truth We Don’t Talk About

You don’t just wake up knowing how to be the perfect wife or the perfect mom.

Both roles take discipleship, learning, and time.

When I first became a wife — before kids even entered the picture — I thought, “Okay, I can do this.” I love organizing, I love decorating, and I figured managing a household would come naturally.

But I quickly learned it wasn’t just my laundry anymore. It was mine, plus my husband’s. And he worked out a lot, so the piles grew fast. I thought I was ready, but there was so much I still didn’t know.

The Comparison Trap

I’d scroll Pinterest, go to other people’s houses, and realize there were so many little things I didn’t know about maintaining a home. I’d find myself asking other women, “How do you manage this? What products do you use? How do you set things up?”

And listen — that’s not bad. It’s good to have mentors and women who can guide you. But it also made me see how much I had to learn.

Then I had my first baby. And that’s when it really hit me. The laundry multiplied. The responsibility doubled. And suddenly, I couldn’t keep up.

The Pressure Points

I felt pressure everywhere:

• I didn’t really know how to discipline.

• I could cook pancakes, but I wasn’t drawn to cooking instantly.

• I loved cleaning, but I didn’t know the best products or how to stay consistent with a schedule.

• And on top of all of that, I had to figure out how and when to be intimate with my husband.

Four years in, I’m just now learning how to manage these things together. And I’m not joking — it takes time.

What God Revealed to Me

In that season, God showed me:

• It’s not about perfectionism, it’s about progress.

• As long as you’re trying, that’s where the change happens.

• Progress builds on itself, and before you know it, you can look back and see how far you’ve come.

He also showed me the gift of mentorship — it’s good to have women around who can share what they’ve learned. But not everything will apply to you. You’re your own person, in your own marriage, with your own children. Take what helps and leave the rest.

And don’t be afraid to fail. That’s how we learn.

For me, one of the biggest growth points was learning to speak up — to have my own opinions and voice. That used to scare me. I didn’t want to pass down negativity or broken patterns to my kids. I wanted them to see a mom who was strong, protective, loving — and also someone who loved herself enough to keep going even when it was hard.

From “I Should Know This” to “I’m Learning This”

How did I shift from shame to discipleship? Prayer.

I had such a negative perspective in the beginning. I saw motherhood, marriage, cooking, managing a home — all as this impossible burden.

But I prayed. And God gave me peace. Peace to try without fear of judgment. Peace to be present with my children.

And it didn’t change overnight. It took action. It took realizing where I needed to grow, and actually stepping into those changes.

How I Approach It Now

Today, I approach motherhood and marriage with progress over perfectionism.

I remind myself:

• God already gave me the tools I need to succeed.

• I am capable of raising my family and managing my home.

• As long as He’s with me, there’s no need to worry.

The rhythms and mindset that keep me in peace are simple but powerful:

• Practicing gratitude in every season — whether thriving or struggling.

• Following routines I’ve set for myself (they do make a huge difference).

• Budgeting instead of winging finances — working together with my husband.

• Building our marriage our way — applying what works for us, leaving what doesn’t.

• Remembering there will always be outside opinions, but peace comes from being content in my circumstances.

And I’ve also realized something important:

There will be seasons you thrive in, and seasons that challenge you.

For me, I’m thriving now that my daughter is in school — we have uniforms, homework, calendars, structure. But those newborn-to-one-year-old stages? Those challenged me deeply.

So if your laundry is crazy, if your house doesn’t look aesthetic right now — don’t hurt yourself with shame. You are still becoming.

Encouragement for You

If you’re sitting there thinking, “I don’t feel cut out for this…” — I get it.

Girl, I didn’t think I was either. I almost gave up 50 million times, and now I’m on my third child. Honestly, I never even saw myself being a mother of three. But God did.

God did not put you on this earth for no reason. He didn’t give you your child, your life, or your purpose by accident. He thought you were perfect for the job.

So don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors. We all have strengths and weaknesses.

The good news? God works in our weaknesses. And the enemy will try to convince you that you’re the only one struggling — but you’re not. Almost every mom or wife could tell you their own story of what they had to push through.

You are not alone. One of the best things you can do is build community with like-minded women — women who encourage you instead of discourage you.

But let me also be clear: this isn’t about staying stuck. Grace is not an excuse to neglect your family or stop trying. Grace is what lets you stand up, lock in, and learn from your mistakes. Don’t sit in the discomfort forever — grow through it.

And the last thing I’ll say is this: surround yourself with people who are honest with you, but also gentle with you.

When I wasn’t really interested in cooking, my best friends didn’t just let me slide. They said, “Yeah, we get that you weren’t raised learning to cook, but are you really okay with your husband and family just eating out all the time? Don’t you want to try for them?” And then they showed up when I did.

I literally texted them when I cooked my first meal on my own, and they were there cheering me on every step of the way. And now? I cook multiple meals a week.

That’s the power of honest, gentle community.

Anchor Scripture

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

— Philippians 1:6

Thank you for joining me for Episode 1 of Holy & Her™.

Next week, we’re going to talk about: “I Thought I Needed Help… But I Needed Rhythm.”

If this encouraged you, subscribe, share this with a friend, and let me know in the comments:

👉🏽 What’s one area of your home or family you’re still learning to manage with God’s help?