6 Things To Consider When Feeling Judged

by Shelby Davis

It is challenging to be your authentic self, when you feel constantly judged and as though you have to live up to society's expectations of perfection. I am going to provide you with 6 things I want you to consider when you feel judged, to help you overcome that challenge of hiding yourself and moreover, help you pursue becoming your most authentic self.

1. God Loves You

Now, I know some people probably like girl, please with the spiritual stuff but seriously, God is the only person who can judge you, and it actually matter. So please consider that the next time someone shares their unsolicited option, or judgement, that they are not God, and never will be so their opinion is nothing but just that, and God loves you REGARDLESS.

2. Do Not Take It Personal

"The way you measure yourself is how you measure others, and how you assume others measure you." is a perfect quote by Mark Manson in the article, "How We Judge Others is How We Judge Ourselves", that explains the simple phenomenon that when we judge someone we are simply putting our own judgements on to them and vise versa, it's not personal, it's just what we do and that's why you mind the company you keep.

Manson said, "If you measure your life by your family relationships, then you will measure others by the same standard – how close their family is to them. If they’re distant from their family or don’t call home enough, you’ll judge them as deadbeats, ungrateful or irresponsible, regardless of their lives or their history." Family is a real life example of measuring someone else, but some of us may measure with looks, or financially, or spiritually, or by success. The ultimate goal should be that we look less on the external values and more towards the internal values and then reconsider where the judgement is coming from.

3. Release Internal Judgment Or "Negative Self Talk", And Give Yourself Compassion

When you make a mistake or even just make a decision, are you hard on yourself and calling yourself stupid ? Or Are you telling yourself, It's okay that I made a mistake and this is what I learned for next time. Are you telling yourself you can't afford this cause your broke, or are you saying, I am building up my wealth, so I can get what I deserve. Are we telling ourselves, I don't compare to him or her or are we saying, I'm a star among stars and I shine in my own way, and no one else can be me like me. When we have compassion for ourselves we also tend not to judge others so harshly, and the world looks a lot more positive.

4. Don't Avoid Being Judged, Do What Will Make You Happy Regardless Of Judgement

When you make a decision, are you making it for you, or other people ? When you decide something, I would hope you make a decision because you stand by it & it makes you feel confident, or is helping you become your best self, not to please anyone else. That way, whether someone has a good opinion or bad opinion, it won't matter because you didn't do it for the approval of disapproval from anyone.

5. Know When It Is Time To Remove Yourself

You need to be surrounded by people that are empowering you, or giving you constructive criticism and encouraging growth, in order to become the best version of yourself. If you are surrounded by people constantly judging you, and feeling exhausted or bad about yourself once you leave that place or those people, you need to reconsider your environment and the company you keep and understand that some people just need to be kept at a distance or totally out of your life in order for you to grow.

6. Consider That Some Judgement Comes From A Place Of Love

This can be challenging but try to see the positive and or truth in what may being said to you. Some people may struggle with delivery of criticism but do genuinely want the best for you. So if you can, try and understand who and where this judgement is coming from, stand in your truth and take what resonates with you and leave the rest.

Sources :

Mark Manson. “How We Judge Others Is How We Judge Ourselves.” Mark Manson, Mark Manson, 17 Jan. 2021, markmanson.net/how-we-judge-others.